How it all began

A good place to start is at the beginning of my journey that allowed me to become a  bit of an authority on dealing with an elderly parent.   I have lived in California for a number of years while my mother lived alone in Massachusetts.   My older brother lived about 30 minutes from her and, since my father passed away about 10 years earlier, my brother had the responsibility of dealing with my mother.  I made my weekly call to see how things were going and did not get involved in her care.  That all changed when my brother developed cancer and could no longer look after my mother.   Much of the burden fell to my sister-in-law who was already overwhelmed with working and taking care of my brother.   It was late summer 2009 when I became more involved in my mother's care and soon thereafter began two years of frequent cross country trips that eventually turned into twice a month events.   Along the way, my brother passed away and I had to persuade my mother to move into assisted living.   I met some horrible doctors and some amazing ones.  I met some mediocre care givers and some true angels.  I supervised my mother's stay in rehab after her fall and took care of selling her house and cleaning out 55 years of clutter.  

I'm going to share with you how I dealt with my mother through persuasion, salesmanship and, once in a while, resorted to guilt trips.  After all, my mother thought she was the expert on laying a guilt trip so I learned from the best. 

I have to say, the journey was life changing but I was glad I was there because an elderly person needs someone to be their advocate in dealing with all aspects of their life.   I enjoyed the role even though there were many stressful times - all of which I'll walk you through.  

Along this journey, you may shed a few tears, you'll probably have a few laughs but most important, I hope you learn how to cope with the role reversal that occurs when your parent suddenly becomes your child.  Please feel free to offer your comments along the way and be sure to bring up any issues you may need help with as you deal with your own parent or other relative.  Hopefully I'll be able to make your own journey just a little bit easier.